Never in a million years did I ever think that I would be blogging about cancer, wigs, green lemonade....anything really, other than decorating, crafting...tidbits of life here and there. I suppose that I blog about what is happening in the here and now and well, cancer is the here and now. It is not easy for me to open up and share about cancer and it's effects...every time I sit down it really does occur to me what a terrible writer I am and sharing my inner most thoughts and feelings is just not easily done.
There are so many of you that have reached out to me with support and understanding, stories, advice, prayers....how would I be feeling today if all of you weren't out there pulling for me? You all, along with my family are really helping me, more than I could ever put into words.
Last week I started losing my hair and while it was emotional for me, by the end of this week I was just plain aggravated. It had to go, it was coming out in handfuls...hair EVERYWHERE, I just had to let it go. So Friday afternoon, after the kids got out of school, I sat on a stool in the middle of the kitchen and my MIL shaved my head. Did I cry? Yes, but not for very long. It seemed to me that I started feeling a weight lifted off of me...that for once, I was choosing to do something, instead of the cancer making choices for me...which it's done for a while now.
My hair a couple of months ago, before I started chemo:
The day of the shave. Most of it had come out and I shed a few tears.
Right now, I'm feeling ok about it. Although, I am FREEZING all the time now. I am cold natured anyway...shave my head and I'm chilled to the bone! I've discovered a few moles (or as my mother always said: beauty marks) on my head that I never knew about. I've been wearing some of my new hats and playing with my scarves...and there is always the wig that I bought to wear too. Keegan took a few days to warm up to the idea of his 'bald' mom...but now we are making bald jokes and moving right along.
At first, Logan was a little scared, and even though we had talked to him about losing my hair, I don't think he fully understood...but like most kids, he bounced right back and told me he would use his magic to help me grow my hair back...I believe him too.
This was right after we got done, Keegan looking less than thrilled....we are all in shell shock in this picture! I want to take some pictures all dolled up...at least with some make-up so when this cancer is just a memory I can look back and see how far we've come.
(Justin is not in this picture, but he pretty much had the same look on his face as Keegan did!)
I start my second round of chemo tomorrow. Hopefully, I recover faster than I did last time. Talk to you soon!
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